no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
