come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
