Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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