wanna go halves on a baby?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
