Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
