if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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