sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Well I just put wine in my tea
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
