We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
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