But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
