You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
