I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
