I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
