This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
