woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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