Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
