Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
