I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
