Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize