We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Farmville is her only friend.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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