I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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