i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Randomize
