Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
