Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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