Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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