The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
