It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
