Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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