I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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