I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
