Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
