Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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