Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize