Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
