we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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