Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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