hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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