He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
