We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize