hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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