WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
