Well apparently he's into motor boating.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
