I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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