Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
false alarm, still single
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
