Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
