guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
