Plan B is the new Plan A
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
