i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
There are leaves in my underwear?
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