Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
