I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
That accounts for only three of the penises
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
