this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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