...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize