You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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