Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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