You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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