yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
