Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
