theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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