when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
