i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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