butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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