I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
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