He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
