how can u be prego again
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
